Wardatil'7leej

Thoughts adorned

2009-06-02T09:56:00.001+04:00

I just mentioned that I wouldn’t maintain this blog and here I am writing again, but then again you should never take my words for granted because alas I am but a woman and instability is within my hormonal imbalanced nature.

I assume I have something to say and thus and pouring what I have in writing but I must say that I have nothing thought out, or no structure as to what you are currently reading. I didn’t sit down and push a button demanding myself to process all that comes through my brain. It simply flows and I don’t mind that it might not make sense to a lot of you for I see it as a release to the tense that is inside me.

There was a point in time where I thought that I was so eloquent in my writing but now days I doubt my self to such a degree that I stopped posting. I still write random rambles and poems but they do not measure up in my eyes as to what truly can be called masterpieces.

Am I just going on and rambling again? So be it but there is too much going on that the need to simply write anything is greater than me. I have tolerated love lost in many forms that losing my poise is writing would not justify the feelings I have endured.

There are those of you out there who would go through a rainbow of emotions for my sake, please don’t. I don’t need sympathy, understanding or justification. This is my space to do what I please with and I have chosen to say what I wish and blabber all that I want. Don’t think that you understand everything that I may be implying because I know for a fact that I do not understand my own validation to what I am saying at the moment.

You need to know me to understand that what I write here does not actually imply that I am living through the emotionalisms that are portrayed in my writing. On the contrary I may be just saying things that come from a deeper chasm, but does not implicate my current state. I am a person who can overcome a lot and consider every path a lesson learnt. Those who cannot break me cannot harm me in anyway because I do not give them implications to scratch the surface of the person I am.

I am not conceited yet I am comfortable with the person I have become. I don’t need the approval of those around me to value my worth. I am content with my life, though it my have not been the life I had expected for myself it sure has turned to my reality.

Excuse my ramble, but as I said this is my space.

Seeds of thought

No update

2009-06-01T14:29:00.004+04:00

Haven’t been posting recently, and don’t think i will pick up this blog anytime soon. I guess it has run its course and will just sit in cyberspace as a reference to what once was 'My lil submarine' of thoughts.

I may turn optimistic in thinking that i would someday post again, but then again i dont want to promise. You just never know where the tides will take me (such a cliché)

Latest in the news... Min. of Higher Edu being questions about scholarships and grants give to high ranking officials without justification. Read Al-Shabeeba (Arabic) for more info.

Thats it from Warda. See ya when i see ya

Seeds of thought

Discernment 30+

2009-02-11T09:40:00.003+04:00

I am a social person by nature, but then again I use the term lightly since I am also very cautious as to who I associate with and involve in my life. Can you blame a girl for wanting to be around people?

Generally I am not the loudest, funniest or gracious of social creatures. My words can turn very bitter and filled with sarcasm that at times are not as subtle as I would want them to be, but then my intent is revenge on any passing phrase that may have played at my overly sensitive nature.

Does that combination make sense? A tough exterior with the insides made of much, which is never exposed to the real word. I bet there is a word for this sort of persona of social behaviour.

I can be very judgemental. You may ask and wonder as to the extent that I criticize those around me, but you need to understand that I don’t pass such prudence on others and more so on myself in every aspect of my life. There is a constant balancing act playing in my head and reflected on my behaviour.

Do I consider myself smart? In some sense but I am also naïve in that I openly trust. My motto in life has always been “Live and let live”. You may question if my naivety can be considered as a factor in determining my intellect, and I do consider it so. You may be book smart but you need to also have a level of social smartness that allows you to filter the world.

Why am I actually mentioning this on my blog out of places is beyond me, but I had an inclination to write what I have come to know of myself out of my 30 years of living and learning. People are always in the inclination to know themselves at defined age, but no matter how old you grow I believe that it’s an ever evolving cycle and there is no one phase that can define an individual at any time. I used to think that my life revolved on 2yr cycles, where some sort of change has to occur after that time span and to this day I have not been wrong in that aspect of my self psychological examination.

I keep wondering do others subjacent themselves to such personal psychoanalysis? I am no Sigmund Freud but I would like to think that I can rationally answer when questioned about ‘knowing’ myself.

Seeds of thought

Oman is Middle East’s new frontier, says US travel mag

2009-02-09T09:07:00.002+04:00

With all the focus on other blogs in regards to the Mct festival, general real estate projects, restaurant and food review and alas national procreation orientation (naive? just don't have an intent on being vulgar in my blog)

We have Sophie Powell reporting on Oman with a positive note stating "The Middle East’s New Frontier — Experiencing Arabian culture in the land of Sinbad — in popular US magazine Town and Country Travel, she writes about Oman and the safe haven it is."

Click on title for link

Seeds of thought

Its my bday and I cry if i want 2

2009-02-09T08:27:00.000+04:00

Haven’t updated in a while, and don’t think I am up to it anymore.

Happy B'day to me

Seeds of thought

Oman One Pulse- SAMBA Team

2009-01-19T08:50:00.003+04:00

Seeds of thought

Unique Un-Consciousness

2009-01-03T15:56:00.002+04:00

When is the soul allowed to take a break from all the weary damaging circumstances that goes around in life? You come to a realisation of childhood lost, and dreams unfilled, coming to accept that your ideas have changes and that new goals have been set. You may have planned your life a certain way, but Allah plans it his way and you need to just adjust to his infinite wisdom.

There is always an element of guilt in wanting more, in expecting to feel anything remotely related to happiness. The choices in life that have lead you to be the person you are today, would you do them all again if allowed? I am not sure what is there for me in the future, is there something that will fill the gap inside? I used to believe that I could blind myself from the reality of my judgment, with external methods only to realise that I am fooling myself in the process. Thus I keep sifting from one extreme to another from total freedom in behaviour to rigorous retort to religion and it still hadn’t given me the “relief” I am seeking.

What is this abyss in my life? What is the 'wanting' that never fades? I thought that it was due to the lose of my father, yet that was so recent that it doesn’t justify my past existence. There is something a miss and I cannot put my finger on it.

Would it be selfish of me to say that I do not have high hopes for the coming year? That a huge part of me is in clear turmoil and doubt…I am only going through the motions. Why isn’t what i have enough? Too many questions go unanswered.

Seeds of thought

Revisiting Dad (1)

2008-12-16T16:21:00.001+04:00

“D, its time for bed. Come upstairs” he shouted from the top of the stairs. D was patiently waiting for her brother to finish from using the PC so that she could have a go and check her e-mails. As soon as A heard his father shouting he closed the PC and headed upstairs with a glimmer of a smirk on his lips which said “Ha ha you need to go to bed too”.

D started whining as A ran out of the room. She turned the PC back to life and as the blue screen flashed before her eyes here father appeared at the door. “D, its time for bed” he said with a clear threatening undertone. “Dad it’s not fair. I have been waiting all this time for A so that I can have my turn” she whined. “I don’t care. It’s late and time for bed. Yalla go upstairs” Dad demanded.

“Dad! I don’t want to go” D screamed and with that Dad walked away only to return with a thick, gleaming stick the size of a baseball bat. “Move or else” he warned
“Daaaad” D shouted again

This time without warning the stick was raised in the air. She noticed it coming down with a swish and she raised her hands to hold it off but it hit her thumb. D stood there stunned and without being able to envision things around her she felt the other two strikes that got her on the shoulder and thigh. She ran out of the room screaming at the top of her lungs limping slightly from the pain that generated from her left leg. Her mother rushed to the stairs after hearing the agonising screams only to see D struggling to climb up the staires with her father behind her fuming yet obviously resentful.

“What happened?” her mother demanded “Your daughter has no manner, that’s what happened” he shot back fuming. “She has forgotten the taste of my stick”. Her mother assisted D to climb the stairs straight into her room. “D what did you do to make your father hit you in this way?” mother asked. “I shouted at Dad” came the mumbled reply.

Mother subdued the pain with ice and then applied vaseline to the red streaks on D’s body. “You shouldn’t have crossed your father like that. You know he has a bad temper” she whispered
“He hates me. How could he hit me like that? Its abuse” D replied trying to regain some of her crushed courage”. “He is your father and this actually hurt him more than it hurt you” replied mother “Look at me, you call this love?” barked D.

“It is and you will only come to realise it later in life” to which her mother got up from the edge of the bed. “Sometimes our children hurt us by their response and action so deeply that we are blinded by our own responses. You will learn it when you have children of your own” To which she switched of the lights to the room and closed the door ajar. “I will check on your later during the night. Think about what happened and if you could have done it differently”

D was left in the semi-darkness thinking of the events that unfolded, but all she could see in her minds eye was the fuming face of her Dad and the anger that was building inside.

Dear Dad,
I forgive you for that night, and I do realise now the mistake I had committed. I have also learnt the pain that children can inflict on their parents through unintentional retorts. I may have not experienced much due to my children’s young age, but I do feel a prang of resentment when E says something hurtful or prefers to be with someone else other than me.
Love and miss you D

Seeds of thought

Younger me (2007)

2008-12-16T11:18:00.000+04:00

What i would have said to my younger self a year ago of the year ahead(2008).

The coming year will be the challenging time of your life. The turmoil and the grief ahead need to be addressed with a head strong emotional ambition. There is nothing that can prepare you for the death of a loved one as you will experience by the end of Ramadan. Rest assured that you have the inner resolve to go through what fate entails, and come out a true hero.

Younger me, you need to be resilient and know that the will of God is something that cannot be changed. Consider it a test of your abilities and faith, and as the saying goes “What doesn’t break you only makes you stronger”. It is a time of self reflection and understanding, plus allowing yourself to express your weakness yet realizing that you will be able to grow from the experience.

Allow yourself to enhance your dedication to God and cherish the memories of those you will lose within the year for they live on in you. They are a reminder of your existence and the woman you have become.

The dynamics of your role to your family will be tested to the full and will be a valid indicator of your depth. You are a strong woman in every sense on the word, and you do not need verification to clarify that fact.

Seeds of thought

Q8 Quickie Review

2008-11-29T11:39:00.002+04:00

Went to visit Q8 over the national day holiday and the one word that struck me during the whole trip was Dynamic. The country could not be more diverse in its people, yet there is a common theme running through all.
Everyone but anyone was dressed to the nines; there was no mismatched outfit to be seen for miles, no hair out of place and no nails unpolished. Shopping was the theme of the trip and I took advantage of it in everyway possible, seriously Dubai does not compare with the range of cloths and prices available. Its brand name galore!
Another thing that struck me in this dynamic country was the level of flirting going around, it was so open and public. Hairs styles adorned on men, with head scarf on women that looked elaborately put together.

I must say that I enjoyed myself tremendously to experience the country, and I know that there is a lot more to see and learn. Q8 is a country in the Gulf like no other. Oman may have the culture and tradition but Q8 offers freedom of expression and the fashion capital of the Gulf.

P.S. did i mention the Government resigned when i was there? It’s the 4th time it happens

Seeds of thought

Speed is a key purpose of road designs; that kills

2008-10-26T15:38:00.001+04:00

“Road accidents in Oman, at an alarming rate, has become a matter of serious concern to families and to the community at large. A joint solution envisioned by all sectors and even individuals is needed for this problem.” ROP

You maybe someone’s father, mother, brother, sister, girlfriend or boyfriend. You may have come from the dentist, heading to the airport or going to school in the morning. Yet once anyone of you goes behind the wheel of a car you all seem to turn to one thing i.e. a driving troll.

There is a lack of education and HSE safety know-how among the local community in this country, that we all losing people to road accidents on a daily basis actually make that on a hourly basis. Educational campaigns should be arranged to address this issue and increase awareness throughout the local community, not just influence employee in private organisations.

You maybe aware of road hazards but the person next to you in traffic congestion might not, and may put you and him/her-self in grave danger. I remember my mother always telling me “You might be smart, but always assume that those driving around you are idiots”. They maybe a trillion radars on the roads, and various police patrol cars driving around but they would not be able to monitor all drivers at all times. It is up to YOU to be a safe driver and consider your life, and those around you before tailgating, overtaking and undertaking in road rage.

Seeds of thought

World around me

2008-10-26T08:53:00.000+04:00

A few things recently that made me wonder as to what is happening to the world around me and what has happened to the naivety of the country I live in?

Heard of a stabbing which occurred in a club, another version of the story claims that it was at the Al-Shatti cinema. (Obviously not reported in news papers)

Witnessed a car by the Al-Shatti cinema yesterday with two of its tires slashed and punctured. I was sceptical since I initially thought that one tire was out, but the Hub-unit confirmed that two of the wheels were slashed.

More violence and pregnancy cases among high school goers.

Young boy was kidnapped; he was 12yrs old and apparently carrying 200RO with him. (Why would a young boy be carrying that amount of money?)

House theft on the rise, especially in Al-hail, Al- Mawalih and Athaibah area, houses are raided and completely emptied. One case was a newly married couple whole after returning from honeymoon found that their new rented villa was robbed of every new article of furniture, clothing etc etc.

The obvious question being:
What’s going on?

Seeds of thought

Pristine life

2008-10-21T09:06:00.002+04:00

Walking around with confidence, staring at the world with complete dignity that was the first impression you got by looking at her. Though you can see it in her eyes that there is something totally amiss. She protects herself in defence so hard to catch to the untrained eye, once observed always noticed and it obviously betrays her self confident demeanour.

This depiction can be seen on not one or two women walking around this world today. It’s an obvious strain on almost every woman who has been broken down by culture, society and ‘what is expected’ mentality of the ethnicity she has been born into. You can see it that she wants to escape, but then is the grass really greener on the other side? Can she find what her heart desires, and would there be someone to greet her into her new side? From experience she has seen it all, and knows that the implication can be absolute, yet not completely satisfactory.

What is it that she hides? What is it that she fears?

Society has played its part in moulding her form, yet it has somehow deprived her from a glint in her eye. The women who will have to struggle to feel joy in the simple things in life, has the illusion of holding the burden of the world on her shoulder.

Life has a way of making us feel the responsibility of age and populace

Seeds of thought

Questions that will go unanswered

2008-10-08T08:34:00.003+04:00

How do you filter two year and 8months of hardship that has befallen someone you love so dearly, and at one point was the HERO in your life?

My father had been sick for the time period mentioned with ALS, a disease which has robbed the whole family from his ever loving presence in out lives. He dwindled considerably fast, and passed away on the 25th Sept. 2008.

To me it was a stab in the heart, that doesn’t want to heal anytime soon though I was the one who said at one point “I want him to go in peace, and stop hurting” Does it sound cruel? I only wanted him to stop being at the hospital, stop sitting on his lazy-boy, stop deteriorating. I wanted him to carry my first born, to play with my children as I have watched him play and tease my cousins thought the years. I wanted his constant smile to exist and never dwindle with every new phase of my life.

How can someone express pain other than by screaming at the world? I have been told that time will heal all, that it will fade like removing a plaster. I don’t think it will.

There is so much more I want to say but writing this is just too painful. I once expressed my love for my grandmother in this blog after simply dreaming of her. Why cant I fathom the words to say what needs to be said about my dead Hero? Is the pain still too raw?

Too many questions that will go unanswered and too many “I wish and want” to heal the wounds.

Seeds of thought

Evil Device

2008-10-07T11:16:00.002+04:00

Angel of Death do not complete the command
For you at some point shall do upon yourself what was in demand

Oh evil device what brings you forth?
To take from us and leave us at lose

Keep away for you have taken too much
We have been ravages, drowning in tears and have bled by your touch

Young, middle ages and old all seem to have fallen to your call
Please spare us the fear of ever dwelling in your hole.

The love we have festered for year in seconds you take
What have you left for us to wish for and foretell to those who walk in your wake

Seeds of thought

Update

2008-09-22T08:35:00.002+04:00

Have been very busy.

Shall come back to posting soon.
Thanks for stopping by

Seeds of thought

Domesticated Aftermath: Stinky garlic fingers and a high demanding sweet tooth

2008-08-26T11:03:00.002+04:00

Though I have a lot on my plate at the moment with all the drama and tragedy in my life. I have picked up another “hobby” if you can even call it that since its something considered more like a expected responsibility on my part. I have started cooking and it actually happens after finishing work at 5pm heading to the grocery shop with my prepared list of ingredients which I accumulate after surfing the net for recipes. It a little of a shocker on my end since the choices of food I have made recently are things I have never attempted in my life.

My flare day before yesterday was Black and White Banana Cake, which didn’t look quite right but tasted great for my first attempt at baking. I also made Super Chocolate cupcakes which turned out very sweet and under puffed (if there is such a term) since I didn’t know how much of the mix I had to put into the cupcakes thinking that it would rise and fill-up creating my imagined store bought-style Muffin.

My second choice of dish(yesterday) was a Veggie Lasagne filled with all sort of cheeses from ricotta to mascapone to mozzarella…. (I cant for the life of me find the blog where I copied the recipe). Anyhow I started off cooking at around 8:30pm, which was great timing on my part (NOT!) everyone was at the dinner table already eating. I was determined to make this dish and even eat it alone if i had to. I was done with cooking at around 10:30pm where it turned out GREAT! The veggies were crunchy stir fried, and cheese oh so yummy. Though i did miscalculate the amount of lasagne pasta needed with me making more mid-cooking.
My lil girls will be having it for lunch today :)

E-mail me if you want the recipe at lotusqueen20 at hotmail dot com

Seeds of thought

Excuse mio

2008-08-24T10:53:00.001+04:00

I haven’t updated in a while due to various circumstances in my personal life, such as:

~ Dad in hospital ICU
~ Summer Spain holiday- down the drain
~ Summer Jordan holiday- down the drain
~ My 2yr old starting nursery
~ My hub-unit being on a month long leave
~ Finishing my HR certification- pending
~ Starting work a week early – ON THE BALL!

Seeds of thought

Adventures of Wasla-2

2008-06-30T16:05:00.004+04:00

Muna had recently had a baby and Wasla went to her house so as to visit and see the new born. She called up Muna informing her that she would be visiting during the lunch break. As Wasla arrived she was invited to sit in the sitting room as Muna was attending to the baby upstairs.
She sat down in the plush comfy sofa admiring Muna’s taste and décor only to notice something moving from the corner of her eye. As she turned she noticed something on the centre table and quietly sat observing it until it moved again.

Muna walked into the room and immediately screamed holding the baby close to her body. “Wasla why are you just sitting there? Move! There is a scorpion on the table” to which Wasla slowly picked up her handbag and headed toward the door where Muna was standing saying “Oh! I thought it was a pet or a decorative paper”As Muna stood just staring at her friend not believing her calmness Wasla looked back saying "Cute baby, what did you name her?"

Seeds of thought

Adventures of Wasla-1

2008-06-30T16:04:00.000+04:00

Allow me to introduce Wasla an absent minded mid-aged woman, who is always very slow to react to her life situations. Her calm attitude to experiences in her life makes for the short stories that I write before you.

After a visit to one of the shopping centres Wasla, her sister Farha and her old mother started walking towards the parking area with their heavy baggage. They loaded up their car and drove off thinking of all the wonderful packages they had bought.

Farha started talking to Wasla about their plans for later on that evening when Wasla interrupted saying “Don’t you feel there is something missing?” Farha said “Oh my! We have forgotten mum!” Wasla slowly filtered the information and turned back her car only to find her elderly mother waiting in the parking area.
“What happened? You left me” the older woman scorned.

Farha was quick to apologise and place the blame on her sister who was supposed to have been walking with her mother. Wasla “I didn’t notice that you didn’t get into the car. I thought you were walking right beside me” She replied coolly adding “I remember thinking that I have forgotten something, and even said so to Farha” to which her mother looked at her saying “One day you will forget yourself Wasla”

Seeds of thought

Bread and Tuna

2008-06-28T15:40:00.002+04:00

“We are coming at 8pm for dinner” demanded Saeed as he spoke to his brother informing him of his visit to Muscat. “Your welcome to come, but you should have give me more noticed” replied Marwan “Its not a big deal just put something together and by the way I have the wife and kids with me” came the reply
“Ahh, your six kids?”
“Yes, even little Abood” and with that Saeed shut the phone

Marwan was perplexed on how to approach his wife with the sudden news of their unexpected visitors, who not only would want dinner but will also be staying over for a week since his brother was coming from the interior and was looking to holiday in the capital.

“Samia, my brother is coming to visit” said Marwan as soon as he saw his wife walking toward the kitchen. “Oh that’s nice, when will he be coming? I hope that they come next week since Ahmed has not been feeling well since yesterday” came the apprehensive answer.
“Ummm, he is coming in another 1hr with his whole family” Marwan hesitantly replied.
“Oh!” replied Samia with an obvious look of dishearten expression on her face “Marwan, why didn’t you ask him to come next week? You know that this is so last minute and I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow.”
“Well its done, just give them anything to eat they have already been roaming around Muscat” replied Marwan
“We already had our dinner and there is nothing left!” said a frustrated Samia
“Just do anything we cant let them go hungry” answered an irritated Marwan

Samia walked into her kitchen and searched her fridge and cupboards to find something to make for her unexpected visitors. She hated it when her in laws dropped by unexpected, and their long stays which lasted at times up to two weeks. She crused them for not giving her any notice where she could at least prepare herself mentally and get all the necessities ready.

Samia huffed and puffed as she walked around the kitchen remembering the last time they visited where her brother in laws children broke her expensive vase, wrote all over her leather pillows with a marker and even filled the swimming pool with peddles. She also recalled how his wife would refuse to lift a finger to help her with any house work or assist in the kitchen “OUCH!” she screamed as the knife cut her finger as she was chopping onions. As she cursed around the kitchen she heard the doorbell ring with loud greetings and baby cries coming from the living room.

Marwan walked into the kitchen to announce their arrival to her and that they were ready for dinner. Samia gave him venomous looks which made Marwan know full well that she was not happy with the situation and to keep well away from her. “Try and be nice” was his parting words as he headed out of the kitchen.

Samia prepared the dinning table with whatever she could gather from the kitchen, called her guests in after the normal greetings and pleasantries. As they sat on their chairs her brother in law exclaimed “Samia, what is this? Where is the food?”
“Its right there Saeed. What are you talking about?” she answered coolly
“You call this food? Its bread and tuna” he mocked
“It’s a new tend diet we are following at home. We will be eating it for a whole month for lunch and dinner, and the only variation is that we might have boiled veggies instead every other day” she replied
“What sort of diet is this? We were planning to stay for two weeks and cannot live on this everyday” interrupted Saeed’s wife.
"Its a new trend diet consisting of bread,tuna, veggies and a 6 glasses of warm water every day" she replied

Samia smiled inwardly thinking of her plump sister in law loosing a few kgs as the weeks went by. Marwan was shocked as to what going on but didn’t get a chance to respond. As he was about to reprimand his wife, Saeed rose from his chair looked across at his wife who did they same and they rushed towards the door with their brood of six. “We will see you Marwan” said Saeed as he rushed out the door.

Marwan looked at Samia as the smirk on her face slowly exhibited into a full smile; he simply shook his head smiled as he led her by the waist. “That was very bad behaviour Susu” he said mockingly “I know she replied but do you mind?” she teased as they headed up the stair case.

Seeds of thought

Love Bites

2008-06-11T10:51:00.001+04:00

Carrying her sleepy son in hand Muna headed into the bedroom so as to change him into his pyjamas anticipating as little fuss as possible since Majid was in deep slumber. As she placed him on the bed and gathered his cloths from a nearby cupboard she heard him gently snoring and her heart filled with love tenfold. A love unconditional that it can never be expressed.

Muna lifted Majid slightly so as to take off his grimy shirt, which she noticed was filled with mud from earlier where he was playing with her younger brother in the garden. As she lifted the shirt she heard Majid mumbling and whimpering, she smiled looking at her little man as he automatically lifted his arms with his eyelids shut tightly. “NO! don’t take me” he suddenly shouted. “No no no, I refuse to go” he repeated again and again with his eyes still tightly shut not wanting to completely wake from his slumber.

Muna was shocked as to why her son was shouting and had a expression of pure fear on his face. She asked him gentle “Majid, where don’t you want to go? What’s wrong?” though his sifted sleep Majid said “I don’t want to go to play school” and with that Muna lifted her tense son into her arms forcing him to respond to her interrogating question “Habeebi (sweetheart) Why not? Don’t you like playing with other kids?” Majid half awake now looked at him mother with heavy eyes “They beat me with shoes, and put me on the naughty chair” Muna fell silent for a moment; she gathered her tiny boy changed him into his cloths and tucked him into bed. “Go to sleep, you won’t be going to play school again” she said soothingly to her snoozing toddler though her mind was racing with all the hurt and pain she felt for him, and the trauma he seems to have endured.

The next morning Muna left Majid in the care of her mother, she called up the nursery informing them that Majid was sick and wouldn’t be coming to the play school for sometime. “Why not? It’s only been 3 weeks since he started” asked the play school director. Muna noted her half concerned question and replied coolly “Majid will not return to your play school and I will be withdrawing him on Saturday. Please have all the paper work ready and my refund.”
“What? Well can I ask why you’re withdrawing him?”
“He says he has been beaten with SHOES, plus he comes home filthy complaining about the other children pushing him around, and my mother has mentioned that she came twice within a weeks time where the doors were locked at 8am and no one responded so she had to bring him back home” responded Muna with an irritated tone. The response she heard dazed and aggravated her even more “It’s a good thing you’re taking him out of the play school, Majid hits other children, doesn’t listen and bite a teacher once!” before Muna shut the phone she shouted “How dare you insinuated my son of such behaviour!?”

Muna looked for Majid hugged him dearly and whispered “Majid, I love you so much sweetheart” to which the little boy smiled up to his mother grinding him teeth and made small snapping sounds.

Seeds of thought

Deceptive Tale

2008-06-02T08:58:00.002+04:00

The life of a lie is very fleeting

As she walked slowly cursing and praying she felt the deep prangs of pain within her abdomen. She walked into the bathroom and realised that her skirt was stained, and that she was bleeding. Fatin decided to head to the Navy health clinic where she was registered under her husband’s name. She called up Salim informing him to register her for an appointment at 11am that morning and to inform them that it was an emergency since she was in agony.

Fatin rushed to change and tried heading out of the door only to stop every few minutes to deal with the intensity of the soreness generating from the excruciating aches. She manages to get into the car and instructed the driver to head straight for the clinic as fast as he could drive.

As she stumbled into the clinic reception she announced her name and informed the receptionist that her husband had arranged the appointment by telephone. “Your name is not registered for this morning” replied the receptionist. “How come? I have informed my husband and he has confirmed the appointment for me!” answered an astounded Fatin forgetting the throbbing within her. “Give me your husbands official number, and I will check it on the system” replied the receptionist. Fatin gave her husband's official number and waited for the receptionist as she click click clicked on the keyboard. She noticed the look of confusion on the receptionist face and gave her a straight look waiting for a response. “Is your husband’s number 123456? Its on the system but your name doesn’t appear for an appointment” said the perplexed receptionist. Fatin getting annoyed answered “Yes, I just gave you the number! What do you mean my name is not registered for an appointment? Then who’s name in on?” The receptionist hesitated then said “Susan Samer Hamed, his second wife”. Fatin froze the reality of the situation hitting her full on the face; Salim had a second wife? And has kept it a secret from me!!

Fatin composed herself and asked the receptionist to check the number,the name again and this time gave her husbands' full name, which the receptionist confirmed informing her that the other name was registered in the system as ‘W2’ i.e. wife number two and that she appears as ‘W1’ with her children labelled as C1, C2 and C3 with their names in full. Still in shock Fatin called her husband and informed him to head to the clinic immediately. “I am busy and cant get to the clinic” he replied coldly “I don’t care how busy you are, I want you to drop everything and come as soon as possible” she replied.

The husband walked in 15min later with an annoyed expression on his face and was greeted by his wife with a simple question “What’s my name?” she asked. “What?!? You brought me all the way here to ask me what your name is?” he responded with an angry tone. “Just answer the question, and also tell me if you have set an appointment for me this morning” she replied with slanted eyes and an even deadlier expression. ‘Your name is Fatin Hussan and yes I did arrange an appointment for you this morning by telephone” he replied with a smirk. “Now I want you to ask the receptionist in whose name did she register the appointment?” replied Fatin. Salim looked at the receptionist who nervously replied with the name that was on the system to which Salim looked shocked as he realised that his little secret was revealed. He was stunned into silence when he felt a bony hand smack his face with a force he had never expected in his life. Fatin kept hitting and kicking him as she showered him with a flood of insults. She turned and walked out of the door shouting “Follow me!” to which Salim silently responded by walking behind her with his head between his legs.

Seeds of thought

Not so...

2008-05-28T14:36:00.001+04:00

Been busy getting my baby girls birthday arranged other than that being lathrgic and hitting my head on the pillow by 10:30-11pm

Seeds of thought

Ramble: More than a woman

2008-05-07T11:08:00.001+04:00

“Why isn’t there some sort of guide book that tell you what its like being a woman?” I once shouted to a colleague after sharing my frustration about a recent situation.

Women bare the burden in every aspect of their lives wither they are nieces, sisters, daughters, wives, mothers and/or grandmothers. The beauty that is women has no bounds and no one can appreciate it more than another woman who is dealing/dealt with similar experiences and can relate to situations. We are the ones who take the blunt of most situations or occurrence that happen around us. As sisters we are the support system for our younger siblings, as wives we sacrifice when the situations arises, as mothers we are the care givers and the pillar that holds the family. Finally as grandmothers we are still the support and guide for the family.

Men have and maintain similar roles yet they can never measure up to the depth and passion that a woman can provide. Its related to early prehistoric humans were men were the bread winners and hunters while women had the role of care givers.

Things have progressively changed in this day and age. Most women have taken the ‘one in all’ role of being bread winner and care giver where the burden is tougher to bare. The misconceived notion we are raised to believe that the responsibility for the maintaining of the household should be for the man alone has long gone. This goes back the “guidebook” I meantioned earlier. Where is it that we are given realistic expectations of life and what it entails to being a woman? Where are we informed that life is not as easy as we may seem, and that the delusions we are allowed to dream for are nothing but unrealistic visions. There have been a few perceptions that might have been instilled within our early adulthood, but nothing is really ‘signed, stamped and sealed’ especially where experiences are not always shared or information is never passed down. I am talking about the older generation and the foretold code within our communities that everything is considered as taboo and that bound by secrecy. Sharing experiences and information could guide future generations into avoiding mistakes and waking up from their dream like stance.

The tribulations of life are vast and never ending, can some sort of ‘head start’ be arrange especially to women with no sisters, or relatives who are older and willing to share.

Seeds of thought

Mamati and her tiny tots

2008-04-30T09:26:00.001+04:00

E decided that she wanted to ride the bike, thus approached her younger sister R and at first politely asks “I want this” with side glances to Mamati silently praying to rescue her. “E your sister is on the bike” said Mamati “its her turn” E was not persuaded by the obvious and decided to take matters into her own hands “Ndi, move! I want it” to which her little sister looks at her with big round eye and a blank expression.

Mammati can literally see the conversation and sentences flying over R's head, and the fascinated blank expression R general gives with her air of cuteness, which dissuades further action. E on the other hand is not amused and starting pushing the lil tot off her chair, to which Mammati rescues the little one from an inevitable fall. E proudly gets on the bike enjoying her triumph. R is hurt for a short moment, but happily crawls to a rocking horse. She balances herself and sits on the seat, with bewildered eyes and a smile of joy for being momentarily entertained and rocked. E gives a look of dissatisfaction and states “Mamati, I want it” pointing at the red rocking horse and life in our household continues. :)

Characters:
E: 2yrs old
R: almost 11months
Mamati: E version of naming her mother

Seeds of thought

Generation GOD ONLY KNOWS

2008-04-30T08:51:00.001+04:00

The deterioration of our social communities have escalated to a level never seen before, the increase in immoral acts and the ignorance of people as to their behaviour has given rise to a younger imprudent generation

I am no expert but I am stating what I see and hear around me.

Seeds of thought

Grapevine

2008-04-22T08:35:00.002+04:00

Do our lives lack so much that others “stories” make it just a little more spicy? What makes a good headline?

What is it that people lack in their lives, which makes them feel satisfied with gossip? Obviously only the false and/or bad gets around the grapevines; it is never the true statements or a topic that goes around. People exaggerate a response said, a conversation spoken in confidence and at times even a situation. Others judge you for behaviour or just your mannerisms.

I understand that we need to be careful as to the people we trust, and the friends we confide in, yet what measure guarantees you a honest individual that wont repeat things said and done? Should time be the test? Or should it be the experiences made together? Maybe even the connection between both parties.

I have talked/written about this many a times and yet it still baffles me to no end, since i try on many occasions to avoid such talk, or even ignore things said. I frustrate most people when I can’t recall topics and gossip mentioned in my presence, its not that I don’t have them to recall on when the times requires it...I just categories it as non-important in my mind.

There used to be a time when I thought that women were the biggest culprits, yet I have come to known and experience that men are even worse. What is amiss in our society that people can’t seem to achieve contentment in social standing? Do lies and hearsay dominate our ever waking hours, that we obese in being up to date with other peoples details?

Something vast seems to be amiss and to me it only looks that it’s going to get worse. I have lost all faith in others and have permanently developed a defensive stance.

Seeds of thought

Sweet dreams, never to materialise

2008-04-16T11:52:00.003+04:00

She gave herself completely to love, and the perception that life was a fairytale filled with fantasies and wishes. There was nothing that would have dissuaded her that the realities of life were not what she was expecting and dreaming of. She loved with passion, cherished with enjoyment and lived with dreams yet to be fulfilled.

The truth of her situation struck her dumb, when the centre of her affection simple proclaimed “I cannot go on with this, you have over given with your love”. She was stunned into silence, and complete remorse for the time she has wasted and the love she has invested. “You suffocate me at time” was a statement imprinted in her mind never to be forgotten during her sleepless nights. Questions floated around her thoughts and she allowed them to pour out of her in forms of tears, which seem to flow with a non ending stream. She locked herself from the outer world only allowing the very few she trusted, and even with them the interactions were kept to a minimum. She cried every day, on every hour of the day for love lost and dreams shattered.

What was she looking for you ask? She wanted the simple things that every woman of her tender years would want. A loving companion and a promise of a future filled with happiness and compassion. She needed to be needed and wanted to be demanded by the person she considered to be the centre of her affections.

All that was lost to her due to her negligence, not in the sense of her being unloving but in her determination to prove to herself, him and the world around them that the fantasy can be a reality. Dreams do come true and love does overcome all aspects. It was lost due to her overbearing behaviour towards him that he felt that he was suffocated and not given a chance to match her in sharing their love. He gave up when it came to wanting her due to her excessive want of him.

She is slowly treading on the recovery steps, and experiencing new love that she has determined not to overpower. Her expectations have been shattered and her resolved to a brighter future have been re-built but with a tint of darkness and foreboding. Would there be a future to dream of, and a love to share?

No one talks to you about the realities of life; there is no really guidance when it comes to relationships at any level. Young women asking for divorce since their expectation of marriage have been observed via pink shaded glasses. Little girls wanting and wishing for the knight in shining armour riding his white stallion have their hopes shattered when the man they wanted or accepted turns out to be the troll himself masked as the hero.

How many a stories have we heard of in the same account, and how many a dreams have been shattered due to lack of information and openness when talking about realities of life?

Seeds of thought

Conniving & cunning CRAP

2008-04-13T15:58:00.001+04:00

I will and will never hesitate to hunt you down, break you to a pulp and kill you slowly if you dare touch my precious lil dreams.

You have been warned, and this time you have been able to escape with just a scolding, but I dare you to try anything new…to try and be fresh.

I WILL WATCH YOU SUFFER.
THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cant tell you what the above was in reference to but let me just say that its vent up anger for something that happened in my personal life.

Seeds of thought

Struck by the DUMB!

2008-04-01T09:08:00.000+04:00

I haven’t been able to get my head round to anything other than updating my facebook profile, and browsing around the various friend pages. I have neglected this blog in such a BIG way due to what I have just mentioned and the fact that I feel as though my imagination and intellect has been bashed to a pulp.

I seem to lack in terms of the issues I used to be interested with, the random rambling which I used to put together which included various thoughts of the moment, plus my various short poems. My life has revolved around my children, family and work with very minimal activates outside the home. I don’t socialise as I used to, and occasionally meet up with cousins who normally discuss diet, children and personal issues. Thus there is no room to expand to talk about “more important” or substantial topics. I should actually blame myself for this since I have even evaded newspaper and various information feeds which I used to enjoy ready.

I guess that generally I am in a phase where I need to just lay low. I have been dealing with many personal factors in my life, which has drained me physically, emotionally and financially. There is still a hope within me that all this will be in passing and a brighter tomorrow is soon in the horizon. Things can only get better with time and patience (I am convincing myself)

On another note, I have stopped horse riding due to a back injury (or to my general weakness) and have picked up a much lighter activity….Photography. I have a passion for taking pictures which my husband used to tease me about. Now I am learning to explore different dimensions of myself and being able to express via still life. I am still an amateur in most aspects, but with the right technique and lots of practice I know that I would be able to create something representative on me and my ideas of the world.

Well, I will be lying if I said that I will continue posting in this blog, but I will try and maintain it and post from time to time. I am also going to reactivate my flickr account so as to share my various pictures and images.

See ya round :)

Seeds of thought

At the moment

2008-01-26T16:45:00.000+04:00

Tears run down my face making a path
I know that only you can trance
The journey we have taken no one can embrace
Memories we hold dear have faded from our minds grace
My heart still remains forever yours; nothing can misplace

Seeds of thought

Drifting in the unknown

2007-12-29T15:08:00.000+04:00

Sifting through my life, trying to filter my feelings at every turn
Things don’t seem to be going as planned, every thing I touch burns

I thought I could change the way I feel, and let life take its course
The pain still remains and I don’t know how to deal with remorse

Have I been cheated out of true happiness?
What does life hold for those living with no fateful forgiveness?

That path to happiness seems long in coming, and I am trapped in this cage
I pray for the freedom, and then wait for the moment where things should change

I thought I had found my calling, true life I can live
That also faded and turned out that no other would give

Joys are short lived and never remain
Peace is never found and I don’t think I will ever gain
The joys of knowing how to be truly be loved again.

Seeds of thought

Exposed Familiarity

2007-11-26T10:15:00.000+04:00

I am thankful in a way to be living in Oman, in the sense that we (woman) are given considerable amount of freedom in the work field and in our social interactions. As a “modern” woman living in the Gulf region I am limited to my social freedom, and there are expectations to behave in a certain norms.

My brother recently gained a job with an oil company, and was sent to various oil fields in remote areas of the country. Within the scope of his work, he is required to meet with various people from the region among who are Bedouin. The social custom for Nomads is that when guests are invited for a meal, they are to be presented the food first and in a secluded area of the “home” without the host or his family. Once the guests finish their meal, then the reminder of the household can eat. Keeping in mind that no extra food is made, and that whatever remains from the guests’ main dish is then shared and consumed.

Another custom of the Bedu is that women sit within the same proximity as men and are expected to greet visitors/guests. At first I thought that this is “normal” since there is usually lack of space or rooms for the women to be sitting in any other area, which is the expected tradition with the “hathar” or people living in the city. It was then clarified that its common for the Bedu women to sit with the men and greet guest be it women or men. They all sit in a common area and conversation is shared, where for “us” this usually happens when you are sitting with very close family.

Contemplating question as to who is really ‘modern’ in the sense of the word? The city dwellers that have their women covered from head to toe, restrict them to female company and segregation or the Bedouin with his open house and acceptance of his female counterpart?

Seeds of thought

Social all round change

2007-11-18T11:29:00.001+04:00

Have you noticed recently that people have no tolerance for each other? That there is somehow an increase in social sensitivity? This might be a broad topic and may be related to recent experiences but then again the world is changing around us and social norms have somehow metamorphosed to something intangible. Friends have been questioned and valued based on the “what’s in it for me” methodology, and family ties have deteriorated based on social standing i.e. position of work, amount of income and where you live or what you drive.

I might be PMS-ing and being extra sensitive but it hit home when a few people I have met recently brought up the same topic, and how the world has changed and friendships have become based on monetary values. There is a lack of genuine concern or friendship that occurs due to attitude, character and personality.

My take on this is that our lives have become so busy with personal issues, that there is no time for courtesy, which by the way has been thrown out the window. Social communication has been redeemed to sms messages and emails which to most people are taking the easier route. “I’ve asked about XYZ but then s/he didn’t reply to my email/sms/comment”. What happened to interaction or actual taking the time to ask about someone.

I fall guiltily into the first category as much as anyone else around me, and I am not going to change my pattern anytime soon since those around me are also doing the same thing. We have become socially lazy and very selective in our interactions with people. Thus I am giving you all fair warning that if you do receive an e-mail/sms and a comment on your facebook etc. then you should realise that I do care, and that you have crossed my mind. That I am taking the "socoially common" easier route and doing the minimal to show you that I care, not that you may be categorised in my life as low priority, but that I am too socially lazy to pick up the phone and call.

Enough said :)

Seeds of thought

In need of another break

2007-11-10T15:05:00.000+04:00

I recently got back after a week long trip in Dubai for a training course, which was ideally timed from 8:30am to 2pm with 15-30min breaks every 2hrs. Apparently there was research conducted to the effect that of “Adult learners” and the “Arabic culture”. I think its all hog-wash and its just one thing that is driving the course, which is the typical Arabic mentality of never being on time and treating every training course, especially one held in Dubai as an excuse for a shopping holiday.

Anyhow I had a chance to meet with web-friends, greeting to meow Qatar Cat http://qatarcat.blogspot.com/ and my American-Omani from Liwa friend. I still can’t get over my fun time laughing my (backside) off with QC, and the shock state I was in with my other friend who I consider as a very brave soul.

What else was on my plate, well I had time to eat, eat, eat and shop shop, shop at my leisure. This is the first time in long time that I actually walked into a mall in Dubai without being rushed. We usually head for Dubai for a weekend stay, but staying over for a week made me so lazy in my purchases, and even allowed me to discover more places in Emirates Mall. My usual escapade will entail the hub-unit rushing me and calling to remind me that by 4pm we should be on the road home. I had a few night out on the town, which was good and Dubai did live to the reputation of “every night is a party night in Dubai” since I though going out on a Monday would account for a dead scene….ohh how I was wrong.

On another note I was glad that I arrived at the airport3hrs before since my luggage turned out to exceed the allowed weight…DAM the course folder, my hairdryer and other personal items. I tell you if it wasn’t for the course folder which weighed a ton I wouldn’t have needed to purchase a carry on bad, and sit there unloading my luggage to accommodate flight weight per passenger. Don’t they know we were in Dubai, and you are expected to have a heavy load when heading home?

All in all had a good time and an effective course, though we had to deal with as I called them some “dinosaurs”….don’t let me get into this, but lets me just say mental saturation level of some people end at around 45 yrs of age (those in the course have gone WAY beyond that age).

Seeds of thought

Election process

2007-10-29T08:28:00.000+04:00

I was dreading going to the school where the election was being held for the recent running of Majlis Al Shura, since due to my last experience the whole process lasted a good two hours. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least, since this time it literally took my mother and me 30min to walk in, show our ID cards, get the ballots and place it in the election box.

I think the advantage was that we selected an ideal time, being at 12:20pm, and that we didn’t have the hassle of showing our election cards to be perforated like the last time. I am glad that most of the process was computerised, and we were only required to show our national identification and pronounced eligible to vote.

I should be a little thankful that the woman with the marker pen didn’t go wild on my finger nail, since I have seen images on TV showing people getting either their whole nail, or the area around the finger completely marked to identify that they have already placed their vote, and thus cannot return to re-vote during the same day. I don’t understand why we needed to be marked in such a way, since our names are already registered on the computer and all they could do if someone did show up again was to check.

On another note there was another advantage to going during the non-crowded time.A TV crew was in the room, and had taken a clip of me placing my ballot. I was shown on Al-Arabiya TV which I didn’t get to see but was informed by Arabian Princess (thanks).

Seeds of thought

Perilous Dreams

2007-09-23T08:52:00.000+04:00

Laila woke with a shock; she felt the cool perspiration running down her face, and down her back. The dream was vivid but the message was clear. There was someone determined to destroy her, and back stab her since what she saw potrayed the thoughts that shifted in her mind.

Her mother had told her that lizards in a dream are a good sign, and that they are harmless, but seeing a scorpion was very ominous. She saw them both walking on a white wall, the lizards scurried away but the scorpion stood defiant and threatening. The anger she felt through the dream, and the hatred that generated was so stunning that’s it shocked her into wakefulness.

All Laila remembered that she was able to trap the scorpion by placing a glass cup on top of it, and was watching it die. Feeling it lose breath with every second that passed, feeling the anger and hatred subside. Laila also realising that the danger that loomed so close had vanished and she could breathe again.

She got out of bed washed her face, looked into the bathroom mirror and smiled for she knew that she would be strong and be able to conquer what’s to come.

Seeds of thought

Visiting providence

2007-09-12T10:14:00.000+04:00

I had a little visitor who refused to budge from the top of my car this morning. Even when I got inside and started the engine, s/he (I aint an expert) simply looked at me through the sun roof. My little friend was from the feathery kind; a little white pigeon, with a black tail.

As I walked to my car this morning I didn’t really notice him perched on top until I wanted to open my door and noticed a white bundle on the top. I looked closely to notice that he had his eyes closed, and as I tapped on the car I had woken him from a deep slumber. I thought that his instinct would be to fly away, but he simply looked at me as though to say “what do you want?”. I got into the car, opened the sun roof so that I could see him (yes I have already determined its male) and as I switched on the engine I thought that I wouldn’t catch site of him again. He refused to budge, even after backing out of the car park and going down the slope towards the road. I thought that he might be injured and didn’t want to risk having him slide off my car (guilty conscience). I drove back home and honked and got the housemaid to get him off.

The little dare devil was still chasing the car, as I turned it around and drove off.

Strange morning, but I am going to be optimistic and say that something good is coming my way, since I am in need to a delightful change :)

Seeds of thought

Flattering Puppet

2007-09-05T15:05:00.000+04:00

Day dreaming as she walks the halls, she drifted into deep thought of the weekend ahead. As she starts to climb the stairs she expects that it would be just another tedious day at work. He suddenly bolts in front of her as she was about to reach the top floor, he then swiftly changes direction and passes her up again. As she turns towards her office, she glimpses him again and this time he is walking behind her, turning left then again another swift move to the right.

With all the dancing going on behind her, she couldn’t help but smile. It might not end up being a dreadful day after all.

Seeds of thought

Incarcerated 4 Life

2007-09-01T09:13:00.003+04:00

What makes a person an expert in passing judgment on others? And on what basis are these allegation made towards an individuals?

At times there are situations where a person may do something unintentionally, and thus had to live with the consequences of those actions, and the perception it has portrayed on others. Yet not all people are vindictive or hypocritical, and no person deliberately intended to harm another unless there is real justification to his/her actions.

I for one have been judged many a times, over major and minor issues at various times based on people's analysis on my appearance, attitude and even mannerisms. Yet how can you label a human being based on one of chances and circumstances? Opinions may be developed on first time impressions, yet there is always a window of an opportunity to allow that person to justify the prejudice ideas developed against them. No one off action or attitude and not even word of mouth should influence and individuals judgment.

I say this based on past experiences, and from the support I have been given from my better half. Making me realise that I am not here to please everyone and what I am doing is just as good and enough to those around me. I can always improve and increase my efforts, but he has made it clear that I have done my best and it is acceptable to him and those I care for. I have no time in my life for vindication to those who have misjudged me, since I have justification from important people in my life. Plus it is my nature to make an effort with others, but when those efforts are not reciprocated then there is a limit to my attempt. On the other hand, those whom I have grown to know and respect should realise that my intention is never to harm, and there was never a point where my concern and affection was never genuine. It is up to them and based on their judgment to realise and discover the person I am, and only time will tell where my authenticity is directed.

Seeds of thought

Observe n Learn

2007-08-29T14:15:00.000+04:00

Mistakes are made through our own lack of judgement, once done it takes a lifetime to amend. What sort of life does a person live in when they want to hold the burden all on their own, with no aid or support from those around them? “We all make mistake” is a common phrase heard and repeated, but how we deal with those mistakes makes the difference in the results that appear after the struggle.

Who should a person turn to when the people thought to be trust worthy have betrayed however their initial intention was to guide and advice. The reactions of those around us influence our own lives, and the results can never be predicted. Such is the action that one person took, which has demolished a relationship so sacred now considered totally lost.

To my lost soul (you know who you are) I just want to say you are not alone. We have endured so much and somehow in one sarcastic move the tables have turned. You need to grow from the experience and build strong bridges where old ones were known to be shaky. Analyse your action, and make sure you understand your true personality and attributes. Only through hardship will true understanding arise. We can only grow stronger from past experiences, and the bond between us should only grow more powerful

I have a lot more to say to you, but I realise you want your space. I want you to know that WE are here for you to guide you since we have endured the same experience you are going through at the moment.

Note: excuse me for writing her but i found no other place to express what i needed to say, were you would listen to what needs to be said

Seeds of thought

Lucky Seven Up

2007-08-25T10:25:00.001+04:00

As I was driving to work this morning I noticed the Nutty Professor walking and pointing his thumb to hitch a ride. I have never picked up a stranger and always wondered what my reaction would be when confronted with such a situation. Mr. Nutty Professor was no real stranger since my brother always drops him off when they cross paths, and my mum knows the family so it seemed fine for me to stop and give him a lift to his destination, which was actually 2min away.

As he climbed into the back seat he mentioned how luck he was, since he was heading to the Library which was not open at the time and had decided to take a walk to house No.7 at the corner of my street. He said “You know seven like 7up?”. He then asked me what time it was since the Library opens its doors and 8am, I mentioned that it was 8:07am and again he pointed out that the number 7 was significant to his morning. As we came to the petrol station across from the Library he asked if I could spare him some change, again the amount I gave him added up to 7, where he gave me a toothless grin and walked into the Quick Mart to get himself a drink.

As I continued along my way I kept wondering as to the auspicious reoccurring number, and somehow it came to mind that maybe it was going to be my lucky number for day. I am superstitious when it comes to numerology, and today being the 25th Aug 2007 makes me realise again that the number 7 reoccurs when adding 2+5.

Anyone into numbers or numerology? I always have reoccurring numbers but the most significant in my life is a combination of 1, 3 and 4. I see it everywhere from car plates, time and even in emails.

Seeds of thought

Latest update

2007-08-15T09:25:00.000+04:00

Well I have promised to update but that plan went down the drain, the thing is every time I come up with a topic or an idea I become lethargic when I hit the net and simply stick to emails and face book. To tell you the truth the only time I can give my attention to blogger is when I am back at work and now that I am BACK I can focus more into writing and updating, though you would need to bare with me since I have been brain dead for around 3months or so. Why I am saying that I have lost my nerve ending? Truthfully I feel lost for a person who was well informed and had time to read anything and everything from magazines, books, newspaper, email and net info. Now I can be grateful if I can get my hands on the newspaper headlines in the morning.

My life has been a rollercoaster of baby care and going through one pregnancy after another. At times I felt that there should be a permanent status other than married, divorced, widowed namely “pregnant”. The little tykes are doing well and growing by the min. Ethaar is at a phase where she is picking up on word and imitating behaviour. The other day she learnt from her young uncles and aunt how to become super hyper and naughty. I say this since her level of hyper-ism was limited to what she knew of herself and now that she has been exposed she is testing her limits with us everyday.
Renaad on the other had has recently turned 2months old and has started a balancing act on her stomach, where she lifts her head and legs. She also gives the most amazing smiles and tries to “socialize” to those around her when ever she is not hungry, sleeping or in need of a potty change.

Yup that is what my life currently revolves around and I am grateful that my husband is on holiday to lend a helping hand. I am not going to sing his praises but let’s say he does above average things for a man in terms of caring for his babies.

So keep coming by my blog and drop me a line everyone and then, I do check your comment though I might not have time to reply. Reading your points of view and opinions gives me greater prospective and might even start the building blocks into getting my brains cells to function.

Seeds of thought

Innocence revoked

2007-08-12T16:49:00.000+04:00

A discussion came up recently among friends about publicizing your activities and sharing what you do in your private life with those around you. For example would you tell people you went clubbing, though you may have gone for a very “innocent” evening out with girlfriend? Would you tell them that you smoke, though your may be a social smoker? etc etc.

Would people think differently of you if you inform them about your activities even though they may have not included all the sinful acts that happen in such places? A friend of mine said that it wouldn’t really matter since there is no justification for people making a bad judgment about you. A wiser soul said that people have nothing better to do in their lives and thus they would “add spices” to the recipe just to get mouths wagging

What is your take on this?

Seeds of thought

Thou shall UPDATE

2007-07-10T22:02:00.000+04:00

I haven’t updated since i have nothing really significant to add, since the only drama in my life at the moment is baby drool and sleepless nights.

Anyhow lets see what i can mentioned that might make some interesting read;

Family: A new addition to my family born 6.6.07 when Cyclone 'Gonu" hit Muscat. I was admitted into the hospital the night before the cyclone, and rushed into labor next morning only to have the power 5min after the baby was born.

Oman: there is a lot of re-building going on, and some places back to normal. The commercial area is getting back on its feet but a long way from getting back to its former shopping glory. Will we learn from what happened? Would roads be raised, and built to last? Would this be a natural yearly occurrence every year in Oman?

Summer: the heat is on though i am stuck in my air conditioned room since i have to wait out my 40days as tradition stipulates. I have been able to make small escapes to the bank and to buy some baby items, but nothing as major like with my 1st delivery where i went for a movie two weeks after.

Tv and the net: have been my only escape and i am thankful for facebook :)

So there you go...nothing major and i can expect to be stretched to the limit once i start work in August (not looking fwd 2 it)

Seeds of thought

Costly Cyclone

2007-06-18T18:48:00.000+04:00

"Cyclone Gonu has cost Oman's economy almost $4 billion, according to initial government estimates.An official source at the Ministry of National Economy said reconstruction could cost the country between $3.24 billion and $3.89 billion"

Linked article, click on title

Seeds of thought

Baby Gonu

2007-06-09T19:43:00.000+04:00

Renaad was born when Cyclone Guno hit Mct @ 9:45am on 6.6.07

Seeds of thought

Young Morality

2007-05-06T11:39:00.000+04:00

Think of the people you would be hurting
If they knew their little angel loves flirting

You roll your shining eyes expecting attention
Trust me little one you would soon fall in detention

Tossing your long hair to grab interest
Haven’t you thought that maybe it would lead to nuisance?

Swaying as you walk and laughing out loud
Men would assume you are easy, not proud

Once the boys label you, they will always try to persist.
Protect yourself, since no one else could assist

Parents can only advise you against the evil in the world
Its wagging mouths that usually can be heard

Seeds of thought

Gulf Air no more part of Oman

2007-05-06T09:40:00.000+04:00

Not a lot of great detail in the new clip, that’s very typical and the public only get the general picture of various issues.

********************
MANAMA — Sheikh Salman bin Hamed Al Khalifa, deputy ruler of Bahrain, received at Al Rifaa Palace here yesterday Ahmed bin Abdulnabi Macki, minister of national economy and deputy chairman of the Financial Affairs and Energy Resources Council; Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdullah Al Harthy, transport and communications minister; Darwish bin Ismail Al Balushi, secretary-general of the Finance Ministry and Mohammed bin Sakhar Al A’amri, undersecretary for civil aviation affairs at the Transport and Communications Ministry. During the meeting, Macki and his accompanying delegation conveyed the greetings of His Majesty Sultan Qaboos bin Said to His Majesty King Hamad bin Issa Al Khalifa of Bahrain and the deputy king of Bahrain along with His Majesty’s wishes of progress and prosperity to the Kingdom of Bahrain under King Hamad’s wise leadership. During the meeting, Macki and head of the delegation conveyed the Sultanate’s government intention to withdraw from the Gulf Air ownership. He underlined the Sultanate’s keenness on deep historical and brotherly cooperation relations between the two countries leaderships and people in various spheres. In his turn, Sheikh Salman bin Hamad Al Khalifa emphasised the Bahraini government’s appreciation to the Sultanate’s supportive stands for Gulf Air Company in the past 33 years, which undoubtedly reflects deep historic relationship between the two countries. Sheikh Salman discussed with the delegation ways of enhancing cooperation between the two countries, particularly in economic and investments sectors, which would be beneficial for both countries and peoples. The deputy king of Bahrain has asked Macki to convey the greetings of His Majesty King Hamad bin Issa Al Khalifa of Bahrain along with his greetings to His Majesty the Sultan. The meeting was attended by Sheikh Ahmed bin Mohammed Al Khalifa, finance minister in the Kingdom of Bahrain, chairman of Bahraini Properties Holding Company and senior Bahraini officials. Meanwhile, Macki, Al Harthy, Darwish and A’amri held a joint meeting with Sheikh Ahmed bin Mohammed Al Khalifa, finance minister in the Kingdom of Bahrain and chairman of Bahrain’s Properties Holding Company in the presence of senior Bahraini officials. The two sides reviewed bilateral relations between the Sultanate and Kingdom of Bahrain in various spheres. Macki, the head of the Omani side, handed over the Sultanate’s letter of intention to withdraw from the Gulf Air company in accordance with the Article 22 of the Gulf Air formation agreement. Hence from today onward, the Gulf Air would be managed by the Bahraini government. The two sides also agreed at the meeting to form a joint committee and its member to be appointed by the two sides to assess the company’s assets and to appoint auditors and technicians for this purpose.

Times of Oman

Seeds of thought

Self Journey Ramble

2007-05-02T14:32:00.000+04:00

Your past determines your future, and what lies in between. The history you have lived, and the memories that reside in you are what makes you the person you are today. Though we may not remember the very specifics of the past they have chiselled their way in our minds, to drive our future.

If you were to think that you maybe a changed and influential person, or maybe even more refined since you have determined your personality…think again. Past experiences have made you who you are and will always affect your life in one way or another, you would really need to analyse your past before you can take a positive step into your future.

Seeds of thought

Mummy Dear

2007-05-02T14:26:00.000+04:00

“My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.” Quentin Crisp

Aspects of your past and childhood determine what sort of a person you would turn out to be in the future. The most influential person to effect your life is your mother and the relationship that is developed between the two of you.

Seeds of thought

Arise from the darkness

2007-04-20T23:28:00.000+04:00

Wake up sweating and dreading what was going on through my mind. It was not a dream but the evil moments of lapse that my mind turns to reality. Thoughts of those who have left this world long before me have always shared the darkest sides of my brain, and dwelled in there for as long as I remember.

I think of death constantly that it makes me repent and wonder of whether I am ready to meet my maker, and the answer so clear is always a direct “No”. I may have done good in my life, but somehow it is the sins that conquer my soul, and guide me to thinking that I do not deserve the heaven of here after.

You would think that all this would delivery from transgression, but it had done nothing to make me change my ways. I pity myself for I know I can improve yet there is always the work of my own path driving me away from the precise virtue I was born to follow and claim.

Seeds of thought

Faithful

2007-04-16T09:20:00.000+04:00

She led him into the Master bedroom, not shying from what he could view of her silhouette as he walked behind her. Occasionally she would turn her head with a suggestive look in her eyes, and a mesmerising smile that she knew would make him rowdy for what she had to offer.

As they lay in bed a few hours later, he turned to look at a picture that was placed by the bed side. It was of her wedding and the smile on her face shone from the joy of being with someone, and sharing her life with him. He looked at her again and wondered “what could drive a woman so beautiful to betray such a man, and in his own bed?” Not that it bothered his so much. He was soon teasing her again with the thought forgotten and never crossing his mind again.

What makes a woman or a man turn unfaithful to their spouse? I have read that sexual needs dominate man/woman’s fidelity and that it can be destroyed if one could not find the “proper” partner to satisfy their needs, could it be emotionally linked, or is it simply lust that drives such behaviour?

Seeds of thought

Lame Training

2007-04-02T09:32:00.000+04:00

I am currently in a training session for something that i dont really need or will never use. The only requirement for me being here is to gain awareness about SAP (what is SAP?) Well, go online and figure it out, unless you are already computer lit. and know what i am talking about.

The instructor is blabbering about Fu-cal point and something to do with maintaining one thing or the other. I am sitting here writing up a lame a$$ blog post thinking of bummin out of the class and heading home for much needed Zzzz...

HAHAHAHA he just mentioned if he was moving too fast for us (not!)

Anyhooo, update later or maybe not at all. I have been considering to drop this blog all together and focus on the lil one and my growing belly.

Taa

Seeds of thought

Latest Rambling

2007-03-19T11:19:00.000+04:00

Nothing much to say, but I will make it up as I go along typing (hoping it will somehow inspire my literature per say.

Lets see, I am coming to the last few months of my pregnancy, though till know my mum thinks I look like an elephant. I have told her that I actually didn’t gain as much weight as I did during my first pregnancy, I was made to eat my words when I got weight in during my last hospital appointment where I had actually gained more (plus 5kgs) than my first. Teaches me to always remember "mothers are always right" though I still don’t look that big mind you. Lol :D

My lil baby girl had started walking on her 1st b'day (just like her mummy), which we celebrated with a "Winnie the Pooh" theme. I was glad that she wasn't cranky on the day and was in a mood for cutting the cake and playing about with various toys which were available at the venue. It was an exhausting morning, and we both conked out for 2hrs as soon as we got home.

On another note
Recently heard a story of a woman who had been cheating on her husband. The woman was caught by the other mans wife through the mobile phone. The wife heard the woman's voice, recognised her and all hell broke lose. Other people got involved and things got really ugly. I don’t know what was the conclusion but then if your going to cheat, then cheat smartly hehehe

That's it for my blah blah and will keep you updated with anything else on my horizon. Taa

Seeds of thought

Lets “Hook-up”

2007-03-11T08:58:00.000+04:00

Call me old age or illiterate when it comes to new slang and terminology among the “IT” generation but at my time when we used the phrase “hook-up” we usually referred to meeting up with friends or getting to know someone of the opposite sex after casually meeting them at a party or friends gathering. We always used it to mean that someone was with someone else as their boy/girl friend “Hani and Farah are hooked up” i.e. they are seeing each other.

Now the phase has been taken to a totally different level, where it refers to casual encounters for something as simple as kissing and beyond.

“A high school teacher recently asked her students whether they go on dates. We don’t “date,” the 12th graders reported. We “hook up.”

Read full article

Seeds of thought

What’s your flavour?

2007-02-28T16:04:00.000+04:00

Imagine a drive though the early hours of the morning and the magnificent sight of clear blue skies and desert sand. You arrive with your loved one in hand to view a hot air balloon being set-up and arranged for the two of you to sore the skies and enjoy your love with the birds.

Or better yet…for those of are looking for a little more adventure.

Every dreams of jumping of a plane? I am talking about Ski Diving, the ultimate adrenaline experience of a lifetime. Jump off a plane at 9,000 feet and get the whole experience of your day video taped for keepsake and memories to share with everyone you know.

And for the speed demons among us…

A thrill ride through blue water on a ZapCat reaching speeds of 100 kh/hr. Imagine cutting the waves with this little speed boat beauty and having the joy of ocean spray and wind in your hair (actually you will be wearing a helmet)

Want to give that special someone or a dear friend an experience of a life time, then check out BlueBanana for more information (Thanks for the link Irony)

Note: I should get paid for this post :) wouldn’t mind a Ultimate Assawan Spa Experience

Seeds of thought

Sad news

2007-02-27T08:17:00.001+04:00

I don't know how I am going to function today.

Just received the sad news that a friend has passed away. She was a sickler and has suffered an attack while away for work training in Denmark.

We had studied in the States together a few years back. Life can be so peculiar sometimes. Just yesterday I was thinking of her and the time we had to rush her to a hospital due to a severe attack she endured after a field trip we had returned from that same day.

May Alla rest her soul in peace.

Seeds of thought

Women's Guide to Men

2007-02-12T14:41:00.000+04:00

Simple yet effective women's guide to men…ok in general :s

Men are what women marry. Most have two arms, two legs, a large ego and sometimes two wives. They can be divided into three categories, bachelors, husbands and widowers. Each category can be subdivided into prizes, surprises, consolations and dead losses, the last group being the most common.

If you flatter them, they get frightened, if you don't, they get bored. If you allow them to make love to you in the beginning, they get bored with you in the end. If you don't allow them to make love to you, they get bored in the beginning.

If you argue with them, you will lose your charm. If you don't argue with them, they will stop trying to charm you. If you are outgoing and popular with other men, they think you are a tart. If you are not an extrovert they ignore you - Source unknown

"If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it."Kasspe

Seeds of thought

Discounting Behaviour

2007-02-12T14:09:00.000+04:00

Get a little today for more tomorrow.

That seems to be the natural way of things in human being. We would rather get a small sliver of our desires at the moment, rather than rake the benefits later in time where the rewards can be greater.

An experiment was conducted on men and women, who were shown pictures of the opposite sex. Men were "disillusioned" when it came time to make certain judgment for their future. Read full article here

What would you do for a pretty face?

Seeds of thought

How the cookie crumbles...

2007-02-05T14:58:00.000+04:00

My birthday is coming up (8th Feb) and nothing is arranged from the Hub-unit (he better surprise me) but then again I can't really blame the man when he will be in Qatar for two years and only come every fortnight for the weekend. Which mind you means only one day since our weekend falls from Wed- Fri and his is from Thur-Sat.

He will also be missing in action for:
Valentines Day - 14th Feb
Our Wedding Anniversary - 3rd March
Baby E's birthday celebrated on- 8th March

To top it all off the "group" are organising a camping trip on the weekend of my birthday which we also cant attend since Baby E is invited to 2 birthday parties and we are invited for dinner, which leaves only Friday to do anything special and to tell you the truth I don't feel like celebrating my birthday a day after the actual day.

What is a woman to do? (I never had a surprise party in my life, and my expectation revolved around that for this birthday)

Cest la vie

Seeds of thought

Valentino Party- Newsletter created by Warda

2007-01-31T08:40:00.000+04:00

Seeds of thought

Short Tribute

2007-01-22T15:04:00.000+04:00

You left us so young
As though you knew that this world would not grant you time
You loved and lived to the fullest,

You left us so young
Shared your happiness with those around you
A smile can always be found on your kind face

You left us so young
Nothing this life threw at you could drain your grace
To the last you had spread your joyfulness leaving a little trace

You left us so young
People have been touched with your goodness
They recall you fondly and wish you blissfulness

Little babies you leave behind
Knowing that family would always be kind
You left us so young

In this world that grants no mercy
Somehow a part of us wished we could join you in the journey
You left us so young

You will be missed and loved so dear
The life you lived will ever be a memory
You left us so young

Your children will always be our reminder
Of the young father who would always be able to spread a cheer
You left us so young

Habib Al- Mawli- May Allah bless you in eternal peace and grant his Heaven

Seeds of thought

Another one bites the dust... Jewaira

2007-01-15T11:38:00.000+04:00

My fav blogger has been blocked by Omantel, due to their capacity of what "pornographic and certain hacking sites that encourage hacking such as this one" really is. Jewaira does have some posts up that discuss to some aspect sexual issues, but that does not occupy a major portion of her blog. I don't understand the ignorance of blocking a personal blog, which has very minimal reflection to sexual content. Its not like every other post that was placed on the vlog included a naked person, or anything to the extreme. Seems to me that the guys at Omantel have nothing better to do and would just be devoted to blocking anything and everything with reference to the word 'sex'.

"The blocking of this site was not a unilateral decision taken by OMANTEL. An overwhelming number of requests from the subscribers made us rethink our strategy and conform to the popular demand to block pornographic and certain hacking sites that encourage hacking such as this one.
OMANTEL is not unique in this industry to take such an action. Many ISPs in several different countries are taking steps to block such sites.
For those small number of subscribers who may differ in their opinions with OMANTEL, we hope that they will find Internet interesting in many other areas.
If you feel this message is in error, and the site you are visiting has been miss categorized, please e-mail admin@omantel.net.om with the appropriate link. Accordingly and based on the content the page may be categorized. Such event takes approx.72 hours.

© Copyright 97-2000Oman Telecommunications CompanyAll rights Reserved

This page was last updated: 04/18/2004 15:53:43 by Oman Internet Development Team"

I have already sent an e-mail to Omantel, lets see if actually takes then 72hrs to make the categorization change to unblock the blog.

Seeds of thought

Belief or Believer

2006-12-25T14:00:00.000+04:00

There are many aspects which are beyond our understanding and too broad for the human mind to comprehend. We can come up with formulas and theories that "clarify", but do not necessarily justify reasoning and understandings.

A new belief known as "Scientology" which can be defined as "a body of teachings and related techniques developed by American science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard. It began in 1952 as a self-help philosophy, an outgrowth of his earlier self-help system, Dianetics, and later described itself as a new religion. It claims to offer "an exact methodology" to help humans achieve awareness of their spiritual existence across many lifetimes and, simultaneously, to become more effective in the physical world."

"A stated goal of Scientology is to "rehabilitate" the thetan (roughly equivalent to the soul) to regain its native state of "total freedom." Church spokesmen and practitioners claim that Hubbard's teachings (called "Technology" or "Tech" in Scientology terminology) have saved them from a plethora of problems and enabled them to better realize their highest potential in business and their personal lives” from Wikipedia.

In the past I have been challenged by those around me to explain my blinded belief in my religion. I wouldn't call those who brought forward that questioning into my realm as atheistic, but people who have no true faith and are thus ready and willing others who have or maintain any system of belief. Those people try to justify their own conscious with scientific justifications, where I say that since cannot explain the "why" of certain phenomena, but simply show us the "how" phenomena exist and happen.

Faith and Religion to me cannot be explained by science. There can never be a balance in which Religious aspects can be explained by scientific hypothesis and theories. Somehow science seems to explain things that we know and at times take for granted but does it explain things that we don't know? Are there questions that are out in the world that have stumped even the most knowledgeable theologises?

I do not want to sound too apposed by the concept and there might be some sort of coherence between science and religion, but then you cannot state that one is the result of the other or that religion can be based on scientific evidence of mortal existence. To me there is a distinct difference between the two; science is knowledge and understanding, while religion is belief and faith.

Seeds of thought

Seasons Greeting to All

2006-12-25T08:29:00.000+04:00

Merry Xmas, Happy New Year

and Eid Mubarak

May you have a joyous year ahead

Seeds of thought

Rain Rain...Downpour!

2006-12-19T16:30:00.000+04:00

Qurum Shopping Area

BHS/Mothercare underwater

HSBS in Qurum Area

Pile-up on side of highway

Main Highway

Jabal Shams-the other extreme

Seeds of thought

Weddings. Why i avoid them

2006-11-27T16:11:00.000+04:00

A chance to get the tongues wagging and the eyes rolling. Women dressed to the nines attend a wedding in all colours of the rainbow, fussing over their table and the food that is being served. Dare ye have a buffet for that is an old time fashion that has been abolished with the olden days.

In these recent times I have decided to stop going to wedding because they are either of two extremes the "oh so religious ones" where only drums are played or the "typical white dress, dinner and dance" where there is no entertainment but young groups of girls shaking their booty. (Yes, I also had a very typical wedding) I seriously got bored of these wedding and would like to see something different, maybe a more traditional wedding but when I did attend one the people were a little clueless as to how things should happen and we simply ignored the mix-up and did the normal ass shaking to modern music.

This weekend I will be attending my brother in laws wedding...Yes, I will be dressed to the nines, there will be cake and buffet food, and there will be girls dancing on the dance floor. The only difference is by the end of the wedding and only family members are left the men join in and we continue partying till everyone ends up with sore feet and/or drenched in sweat. I am not saying that just because its going to be a family wedding that its going to be out of this world, but it would be different and I would enjoy myself other than sit with my peacock face staring at little jiggle, shaking bodies.

In Oman we have the very few elaborate wedding where parents spend fortunes on their child wedding, and those are very few and far between. When we hear of over 3,000RO spent on the kosha (stage set-up) then you know its going to be a 'different' worth will wedding that will equals those being done in our neighbouring gulf countries. You might even get the exceptional reach family who fly in a famous singer for the night, that's when you definitely make an effort, not to necessarily see the bride and groom but to go listen to someone famous.

So there you have it...why I don't attend all wedding and pick and chose which ones I want to attend. Don't forget the aspect of mothers taking it as a chance to hunt for their future daughters in law. That dear readers is just another story in itself. :)

Seeds of thought

You plan something and Allah plans another

2006-11-13T16:50:00.000+04:00

Her grandmother kept warning her that even though she was breast feeding, she could still fall pregnant. After Tish complained of mild headaches and lose of appetite for the last two to three days. Tish ignored her comment thinking that there was no way that she could be pregnant, but then again she reminded herself that she was not keeping to her pill or taking any other measures of preventing anything from happening.

Later that day as she went into her room holding a little plastic bag, she went directly to the bathroom. Knowing that her grandmother can be a little superstitious and at times filled with old wives tales Tish had bought two pregnancy tests. Not really feeling that she needed to pass anything, she sat and took the test again. In her head she didn't even bother with the procedure assuming and trusting that the results would be negative, how wrong was she. The little window showed a very faint + indicating what her grandmother has predicted. Tish stared at the 'stick' for what seemed like an eternity, could it be true? She was glad that she has bought a two in one test and had another one at hand to re-test in the morning sine she was informed that it would be the perfect time to really predict if she was pregnant. Never the less she sent off an sms to her husband confirming the test, who directly called her "Are you sure?" she replied still a little stunned "That's what the test says" to which he replies "Mabrook" and she knows that he is teasing her. "I'm taking another test in the morning; I don't think this one is right. It could be just my hormones or something" he replies with "Call me in the morning as soon as you find out".

Tish anticipates the morning eagerly, and as she gets up tog et ready for work she takes the second test, walks towards her dressing table to distract her attention from hovering over the indicator window. Trying to be as casual as possible she walks into the bathroom and looks at the test. Phone in hand she calls her husband who is just waking up and is still in a drowsy phase. "Honey, are you ready to have another baby?" to which he laughs and she could sense the happiness in his voice.

They talk for a little while and remind themselves of the conversation they had a few weeks earlier, where they said they would wait till their little girl was around 2yrs old to go ahead and try for another child. God had another plan for them.

That morning Tish was still not satisfied with her results with the stick test, so she decides to go the company clinic and test again. The lab assistant at the clinic casually walked out and announced. "Its positive" without giving her another look he walked away leaving Tish to deal with the news and the uncertainty of her feelings.

7mdilla

Seeds of thought

Surrounding influences

2006-11-13T16:18:00.000+04:00

Is your personality determined by your name or even your family name? There are those who feel they are entitled to certain privileges just due to their family name, and other somehow get those same advantages by association. Once seen with a certain group of people it may be assumed that you belong to the same category of people.

This thought was in my head throughout the day after seeing a old friend and getting no acknowledgment what so ever from her, only to realise that she was with a group of other girls who I classify as "snobs". I knew that if I had met this girl in a different setting then she would have taken the time to acknowledge me and even go over board in setting a date for coffee for another time, just to catch up.

It's strange that people are influenced by status, money and other material pleasures and genuine trust and honest get thrown out the window. My last post addressed the difference in the friendship dynamics between men and women. I guess what I am driving here is peoples influence into our lives based on financial aspects. My initial topic was going to be if your name determines the type of person you end up being i.e. personality but somehow it diverted.

********

Note: I lost the motivation to complete this post due to interruptions from my surrounding and specifically the numerous phone calls. Might pick this topic up again at a later time.

Seeds of thought

Guess whats new

2006-11-11T13:32:00.000+04:00

Notice a new addition to the side bar?

Seeds of thought

Friendships: Men vs. Women

2006-10-27T12:30:00.000+04:00

"Men and women are different. And whether it's nature or nurture, or a combination of both that makes this so, it makes sense that their friendships are also sometimes different." *Melissa Wolfe*

My perception on 'friendships' is that you build a relationship with an individual who should be worthy of your trust and can tolerant of any behaviour from your side plus visa versa. I feel that men somehow have it easier than women since we have this little evil inside us called jealousy, which drives us to hatred or extreme envy that we block others out of out lives. Men don't seem to have this problem, they communicate on the same wavelengths and there are no hidden agendas within them. Though women can be conniving or manipulative with their words and behaviour even to there longest true blue friend.

I have friends from both genders and my expectations of my female friends have always had its downfalls due on circumstance or another. I can truly say that I never developed the sort of bond with anyone who I would consider my sister or guardian in my dear time of need. Don't get me wrong I have close friends but even with them I pick and chose the trust level and the things that I would share with them "a study that found both men and women hold self-disclosure, or revealing things about oneself, as important. However, it was found that women valued self-disclosure more, and were more likely to tell their friends private information". My cousins used to be my closest companions but even that dwindled due to lack of trust and again the same issue arouse; jealousy!

I always measure my relationship based on how I expect to be treated, I am no angel but I try my best to accommodate peoples needs, then always get betrayed by those around me. I used to be so open with my female companions but the years have proved to me to just keep my mouth shut and not reveal too much about myself, since you never know how things get interpreted or how others perceive the life you lead. To you there could be a wall of bricks to others it could be the simplest of situations and something so diminishable that it does not deserve concern, and they may even envy you over your dismal situation.

As I was saying earlier men have it so easy, and I think since they are more physical than emotional they can easily prove their loyalty to those around them, rather than using verbal methods and emotional interactions.

Seeds of thought

Ramadan Feels Different

2006-10-04T07:43:00.000+04:00

Where has the joy of the month gone? What is lacking in this year that I have not done or thought of, that would bring back the days of old?

This year Ramadan does not have its usually flare to me, and I keep wondering why has it changed so much? Where were the long nights and the family bonds that got socially tighter as the month rolled one? I miss the times where prayer felt spiritual and my heart was filled with reverence to the Holy month. I still do what is required of me as a good Muslim during this time, yet I cannot deny the lack of pious emotions.

Have I grown up and thus lost the brighter side of what this month can offer? I know that I am presenting a lot of questions but I cannot help myself from wondering as to how things have changed. Another thing that is a cause for concern is that I have also lost the concept of eagerness for Eid. It feels just like another celebration with just more strain to the Holy months since its dedicated to finding the right material, shoes, tailor etc. The whole thing has turned into one big chore rather than something that is supposed to make us cherish every day and look forward to our well deserves reward of Eid.

Does anyone feel the same?

Seeds of thought

Harassment of an obscure nature

2006-09-24T12:42:00.000+04:00

Imagine yourself working for a very important organization, and you have been entrusted with sensitive client information

The story goes something like this:

Person with the keys to very important information, which should not be accessible abuses that power and thus has information to very delicate information. Instead of doing the moral thing this individual then threatens people with the information not confronting the source.

Turns out that the perpetrator gained information illegally, and could be discharge from job or face circumstances. Nothing has been done to reprimand the individual, they are blissfully going about trying to persuade other people to undertaking personal gains, and no further action can be taken against them.

Seeds of thought

Ramdan Kareem

2006-09-24T12:14:00.000+04:00

Mubarak 3leekum il sha'har

Seeds of thought

Untitled

2006-09-08T20:50:00.000+04:00

Lost love and memories never to be retained,
Faith has faded and joy can never be captured again.

The old time were lost forever never to be brought back to life. You have drifted in and out of my life, but I have moved on taking the past with me wishing for the old memories to be born again. Yet time still passes me by without you thinking of what could have been. You have drifted into a sea of attractiveness and I have found my way through waves of pity and implications. I want to fly with you to another world but nothing will allow me to move from where I have planted my root, my dreams and hopes. It is too late for old dreams, the new has overtaken. Somehow my heart still yearns but you have soared away.

"I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you" Norah Jones

Seeds of thought

Does age matter when you are a first time mom?

2006-09-05T00:56:00.000+04:00

When is the right time to have a baby? Is it justified to wait for a woman to be older when having a child, or should we start "popping" them out when we are younger. There is a myth stating that the older you are the less energy you would have to cope with your child.

The 'Today' show's Ann Curry talks with Susan Kane of Baby Talk magazine about whether it matters how old you are when you have kids.
Age matter

I believe that every mum regardless of age is an amazing mom. The effort placed in raising a child is not defensible by age or the time scheduled in having a child.

Women readers: Do you think that motherhood should be vindicated to a certain age? And what do you think is the "acceptable" age for a woman to have a baby? For those of you who are first time mum I would like for you to share your experience.

Seeds of thought

I'm still around

2006-07-05T23:51:00.000+04:00

I have traveled the shores of love and I found nothing more I can adore.
The little giggles, innocent smile, the tight grip and the lightest embrace
Nothing compares to her innocence and tiny grace
Nothing can ever replace the rush of emotions she can stir
Her simple smile and shy look can turn the hardest souls and meanest of face

I need to start working again just to jolt myself from this monotonous environment and enable myself to write again. I will be back into the "normal" work system by the 1st week of August till then excuse my rambling.

Warda- the new mother struggling with her existence.

Seeds of thought

Rambling nothings

2006-06-16T22:31:00.000+04:00

How could you turn away from something so precious? You have pushed my soul aside as though my love never existed only for you. Nothing will change the past, and nothing can predict what the future may hold, but you have made me lose my hold on love. You have destroyed the last hope of ever having happiness in your life by thinking that my fake lies will carry me through. The dream has shattered and nothing remains but dusts of memories to be thrown away as time goes by.

Would you one day return my undying love? Gone are the times when I would wish for you and dream. The present reality is too real to be ignored. Nothing nothing nothing can be done of the love that never was, and the life that faded into the shadows, the darkest corners of hate.

Seeds of thought

Reality TV-enough already!

2006-06-11T20:02:00.000+04:00

Where is old TV? Where programs were meant to entertain and entice the audience, it feels as though I am being cheated by various TV channel producers since they have opted for the easy way out or showing people competing on a daily basis.

We have been and still are being bombarded by reality television programs such as; "Big Brother", "Mission Fashion", "Star Academy", "Biggest Looser" (Arab/eng), "American Idol", "So you think you can dance" etc. The worst of the bunch, and which I think adds insult to injury is a new program featuring a number of cats, who get voted off. I guess the only benefit from the program goes to the felines that gets voted off since they are promised a home and a year supply of kitty food.

Am I just ranting or are others coming to the same realization? There programs have become all the rage and some are very entertaining, but I cant help but feel that we are being force fed program after another about people's lives (and now felines). When will it end? Are there a lot of people who find it entertaining to watch fashion designers and models day in and day out talking and chatting? (Ok maybe that wasn't justifying)

Seeds of thought

Absent notions

2006-05-30T13:35:00.000+04:00

Dreams were created just for her, her parent's world revolved around what they envisioned her future. My daughter would grow up to play the violin, be an honor student, learn to speak more than one language, get married to a well respected man and have the most adorable children. That was part of the dream and wishes that her mother wanted for her young child of seventeen, who had just graduated high school and was ready to travel half way around the world for further studies.

The dreams take a turn through reality and nothing seems to go as planned. The young girl falls in love with a foreigner and looses all contact with her family back home. The only glimpse of accomplishment is that she has completed her studies and received a Bachelor's degree. The once obedient little angel has turned into a woman with her own demands. She travels back to her home country only to return and forget her past, at a time where her mother is stricken by cancer and is fighting for her life. Nothing seems to stir this young woman's emotions, not even her ailing mother. She has grown up and moved on without a glace to the past. Without her parents knowledge she was married and expecting a child, her thought revolved around her husband and the future she will build on her own.

Years go by and the young woman has turned into a mother, she has given birth to a little boy with tiger eyes and golden hair. She too starts to dream and wish for the world for her little angel. Then its strikes her; the gap she has felt has grown and the void she had hidden has come to haunt her, she was yearning for her home. She wanted to feel her mother embrace and join hands with members of her family so that they can share her joy and travel through the journey of life together.

Time had played its ghastly game, it was too late for the young mother to see her family, the cancer had taken over her mother three months before, and the family she once knew not longer existed. The brothers have married and were struggling to sustain their own families and her younger sister was too busy enjoying her life to bother with a sister she hardly knew. Her father was long gone and all that remained was a shattered shell, sitting alone on a wheelchair being cared for by foreign hands.

Fake smiles and hateful thought were conveyed to a daughter that was selfish and a sister who wanted her way. Gone were the dreams and hopeful wishes, there was no laughter to remember or a cherished memory to embrace.

Seeds of thought

Justifying Love- Motherhood

2006-05-16T19:49:00.000+04:00

The New York Times posted an article by Ayelet Waldman stating that she "in love her husband more than children". I understood her statement even though there were a few "mothers' groups" who were ready to point the accusing finger of such a selfish statement.

I also watched the authors interview on Oprah where she clarifies her article in insuring that others understood the dynamics of her statement. The main focus of the statement that grabbed my attention is that our children are a part of our lives, and not our whole life. They should not be the center of our existence to the extent where we begin to neglect ourselves or our partners.

"I wish some learned sociologist would publish a definitive study of marriages where the parents are desperately, ardently in love, where the parents love each other even more than they love the children. It would be wonderful if it could be established, once and for all, that the children of these marriages are more successful, happier, and live longer and have healthier lives than children whose mothers focus their desires and passions on them."

How does a person or more particularly a mother able to strike a balance between being an all time "super-mum" and a mate for her better half? I believe that society and family upbringing has defined what a "mother" should be with all the expected attributes and characteristics. We have been brainwashed by our mothers and other women around us to always be the givers in this at times one sided family community. Haven't we seen mothers spend sleepless nights by their sick child's bed side? or hasn't the media always represented the mother as this all rounded super being, who can balance between family life, work and being a lover all in one go? It is not only expected but demanded for a mother to allow herself to fade into the background and take charge of her children, at times neglecting her partner and their relationship.

A women needs to be very secure in her marriage to be able to transition herself from the mother to the intimate women she truly should be within the bounds of her family dynamics. As stated in the article "we should not priorities our love" as to say that our children come first, then our household, husband and finally ourselves. There are many women who don't seem to understand how to comfortably change their prospective from breast feeding, caring mothers to sexually enticing wives. I guess communication is the key ingredient to finding the right balance for the husband and wife, where they realize that when life revolves around the children it would create a burden on the marriage. Families should not focus all their attention on the children, thus creating quality time to share or experience each other away from whining, screaming and demanding children. Nurturing your love for both husband and child should enable women to realize their own needs and strike a equilibrium, where when at the end of the day our children have grown up and moved on we will not end up as strangers or not loose the glue that bonded us as partners.

Being a new mum and considering that this article came out at the right time am realizing that I should make time for my family, friends and self (not necessarily in that order). I need to realize that my child is a part of my life, and that I would love and support her but she will not be the center of my life where I am expected to drop everything just to make sure her needs are met. I am in love with my husband, but love my child dearly, it does not mean that I am neglecting my child but that I am making her a very significant part of a partnership which creating this beautiful being.

Seeds of thought

Rising Days

2006-04-10T22:20:00.000+04:00

The secrets of this world are her treasures
Each new impression bringing tremendous pleasure

Clear little eyes searching the world for mysteries
Holding each image for the first time with yearning

Heart pondering what day break may bring
Adventures anew like a fresh day in spring

Visions never redundant, new reflections desired
Each thing a learning phase somehow rationally inspired

Discoveries made turn to memories soon turn old
Yet with life nothing can be certain or foretold

Seeds of thought

Pink walls and green lights

2006-04-10T20:42:00.000+04:00

I have been racking my brain for something interesting to write about or a new story to create but my world has been confined to the walls of my bedroom and the interior of my parents home. My only source of news when I have the time to do anything are the newspapers, which as you well know isn't well maintained or reported in Oman not that there is much worthy news to read about.

On a personal level Ethaar aka TuTu is growing and causing more sleepless nights as the days go by. We are also packing and moving to Al-Khuwair were it would be financially convenient for us for the time being even though I would really miss our spacious modern apartment in Athaiba.

Which brings me to think of something I recently noticed while talking to Duke, the various houses and apartments in Oman are ill designed and maintained. You have old fashion tastes being implemented to fairly decent priced homes, or the other way around, then there is the other extreme where the taste of the owner is just to sickening to consider. I remember when we were apartment hunting and the various architectural 'mistakes' we came across. It was truly disastrous with one apartment featuring a water pipeline in the sitting room or a bathroom drain pipe in the hall. Seriously what are people thinking about? Other than that we had to tolerate multi colored bathrooms and light fixtures from hell. We were so grateful to find our modern design apartment in Athaiba and jumped at renting it as soon as we saw it ( I remember the look on Duke's face when he saw my reaction when he showed me the place).

I understand that people have different tastes, but who puts pink wall color with ugly green light fixtures. You would think that I am exaggerating but it is the truth and consider yourself lucky if you haven't been through this experience.

Seeds of thought

Motherhood

2006-03-17T13:14:00.000+04:00

I am feeling things I cannot describe or justify in words. Once I held my little one in my arms I knew that nothing matter from then on, the world was a bubble I could burst from the pleasure of knowing that I existed for this moment.

Am I making sense? Excuse me for I am euphoric, and cannot contain myself from the happiness or from neglecting everything around me but my baby. I feel exhilarated every time I look at her little face, and wonder what the future may hold. I know I am not the first or the last person on Earth to have a child, but it is the first experience for me and I will cherish it for all its worth. (Hamdilla)

*************
I would like to thank all those who visited my blog and wrote their well wishes and greetings, plus I would also like to thank englishsabla for opening a thread with more greetings. I appreciate your compliments even though I resent getting the "Best Child Producing FACTORY" title :) hehe

I have to return to my little world and small joy, hope that I shall be back soon to the blog world with more accounts about my journey.

Seeds of thought

Lazy Update

2006-03-01T11:35:00.000+04:00

Hi Everyone,

I know it's been a while since I last updated but I have been so lazy, that the computer is the last thing I want to look at during the day. Pregnancy is progressing and I have had a few episodes of Braxton Hicks, but nothing too painful yet (hamdilla). My due dates were on the 27-28th of Feb. but I guess this baby is really enjoying its comfy environment to come out and face the world (not that I am looking forward to the pain)

Keep checking in to find out the sex of the baby

Taa

Seeds of thought

Blog Awards 2005

2006-02-11T17:54:00.000+04:00

I guess this is what you get for not updating and being in a pregnancy funk :) mabrook to the Muscatis

Seeds of thought

B'day :)

2006-02-08T09:32:00.000+04:00

Happy B'day to MEeeeeeeeeeee

Yes..I am fishing for b'day wishes :P hehe

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2nd Stage Blog Awards

2006-01-30T13:07:00.000+04:00

Don't forget to place your votes

Seeds of thought

What once was...

2006-01-30T12:31:00.000+04:00

A picture reel of you flashed unto my sleepy mind, and I could see that you have changed yet this sad vision seemed to have enveloped you as you breezed by me. It was as though I was watching from invisible prospective as you chased after a little boy, who was shouting with glee. I noticed the sadness in your eyes even though others could not see it, and the only reason I was able to distinguish it is because I know you more than myself.

Are you happy old friend of mine?
Do you wish for times to have taken another path?
Have you moved on?
I am not even a memory, my image left you without a trace?

As the picture fades I stand alone wishing that life has not played its cruel game, but then I think back and wonder, if you had really loved me at all? It has been so long and you have kept your distance and now the dream has turned so unreal that I am left with minute descriptions of what had been.

Tell me old friend do you miss the old days?
Are you happy in your new life and role?
Do you even remember me as I was once your soul?

Seeds of thought

Do you want fries with that?

2006-01-27T20:02:00.000+04:00

Scene One:

Customer walks through the door towards the help desk "I have item X that needs to be fixed, could you help me" Salesman "Yes, it will take two days to fix" without knowing the problem.

Fast forward...three days later
Customer "I sent item X to you a few days ago. Is it ready?"
Salesman "Yes, here it is"
Customer "What was wrong with it?"
Salesman "Just a few things and here is the bill"
Customer "Why was there a fault in it?"
Salesman "It doesn't matter, its fixed"
Customer getting slightly agitated "I want to know why it broke in the first place"

Fast forward...10min later
Customer walks out the shop frustrated and angry, and the salesman is left with a blank face.

Scene Two:

Customer in a very well known outdoor restaurant with two friends, they make their order and then realize that one of them made a mistake and thus wants to change it to something else.

Fast forward...2 min later
Customer1 "I made a mistake could you please change the order"
Waiter1 "Sorry, you cant change the order"
Customer1 "Could you call the manger?"
Customer2 "A customer is allowed to change an order anywhere in the world, why not here?"
Waiter walks off

Fast forward...2 min later
Waiter2 "Ma'am, we cannot change your order since we already prepared it"
Customer1 "I made a mistake and would like it to be replaced, what's so difficult about that?"
Customer3 "Call the manger"
Waiter2 leaves to call the Manager
Manager "We can't change your order, and you're the one who made the mistake so that's that..."
Customer1 "I asked him to change it before they brought it out"
Manager "Its not our fault" blank look
Cutomer2 "Are you saying its ours?"
Manager looks at them with a smug grin
Customer1 "Bring us our bill"

Fast forward...5min
The Manager walks towards Customer2's car with Waiter1 & 2 in tow, bangs on the window and demands that the bill be paid for food that was never brought to the table.
Manager "Pay this bill now"
Customer2 "Why should I we never received the food"
Manager "You have to pay, it's your order"
Customer2 "I am not paying for something I did not get or eat"
Manager with a dirty look on his face "You don't deserve to be in this restaurant, you're not up to its standards"
Customer2 "How dare you talk to me like this? I'll show you who deserves what"
Drives off

I can write more scenes like these that I hear almost on a daily basis from friends and family about the standard of customer service in Oman. I know other Omani bloggers and I have addressed this topic before, but it just seems to be getting worse day by day. There is no real management team that monitors such behavior or trains employees for better service.

When will the dilemma end?

Seeds of thought

Did you miss me?

2006-01-25T13:26:00.000+04:00

...back by popular demand

I know it has been a while since I have posted anything on the blog, but I have been struck hard by the LAZY-BUG, which has been merciless in allowing me to do anything productive for sometime now.

To tell you the truth I do enjoy this insipid attitude that has overcome me during these last stages of my pregnancy. I mop around all day and do nothing but surf the net from time to time and watch a lot of TV/movies.

The pregnancy has reached the stage were the baby is enjoy the little space it has and stretches to the point where I end up in tears. There is still this overwhelming feeling looming on top of me that it will soon be over and all worth the hassle of unbalanced walk, aching back, sore feet and stretched belly.

I have recently attended a parent craft class at the Muscat Hospital, which is "supposed" to be like a pre-natal class (btw your not allowed to attend the classes unless you are delivering in MCT Hospital). It was very informative yet lacking in some ways as to certain concerns and issues dealing with pregnancies. I realized that there are no such informative classes held in any hospital other than the MCT Hospital which did not deal with issues such as pain relief options, breast feeding, and what to expect at each stage of labor. I mention this since I refer to my cousin who had such classes in the UK before her delivery and another friend who informs me that the midwife visits her at home for all the check-ups, while we suffer grueling hours in the waiting room for a max. 15min. consultation and check-up.

There is so much lacking in terms of informative information in the various clinics and centers around the Muscat area, you can imagine what its like in the interior. The only one informative session I got was when I went to get my green card from the health clinics to find a nurse shouting her head off to a crowd of women waiting to see the doctor. I tried very hard to hold my laugh since it seemed very comical at the time.

Well, that's my news for now and I will try to keep you updated :)

Seeds of thought

Dreamlike Wanting

2006-01-13T23:44:00.000+04:00

As you remind me of an old person I had once forgotten
I dreams of days anew that I wish I could have gotten

Do I want history to catch up with me?
Do I want to feel things I know that used to be?

Things that once used to seem so real
Leave me feeling cold and surreal

Tell me my love, do you share my passion or pain?
Do I have something to gain, from holding on to a dream gone by?

You reminded me of past days burnt
Of memories faded with no return and much hurt

~~~~~~~~~~~
The above verses might not make sense to some, yet you can interpret it anyway you want. I know that to me they mean the world.

Seeds of thought

In whom should we trust?

2006-01-11T17:15:00.000+04:00

I have recently come to a stepping stone in my career life, and had decided to quit for sometime due to many factors. This blog post goes back in reference to the one before it talking about rumors and back stabbing. There are factors in my career life and my personal life that had made me take a certain step in my career path which some has chosen to interpret as a failure. I am not the sort of person who would allow such a "label" to be placed on my life and thus would accept people's assumptions about it.

I just hope that whoever is spreading rumors can mature and realize that their judgment should be placed on facts and not their own personal delusions. I think that's enough said from my side about the issue.

Happy Eid to all

Seeds of thought

Zanzibar Revolution

2006-01-07T10:05:00.000+04:00

POLITICAL PRISONERS CONTINUE TO BE KILLED-(1970) Zanzibar
Towards the end of 1970 the usurper government of Zanzibar - as was its accustomed practice - arrested a large number of citizens with the usual allegation that they were "plotting to overthrow the people's Government"!

Among those arrested at that time were the following gentlemen:
~Salim Ahmed Busaidi
~Abdulla Suleiman Riyami
~Othman Soud
~Aziz Bualy
~Hemed Said
~Muhammad Juma
~Muhammad Hamza
~Musa Ali
~Said Hamoud

The above named citizens and a number of others after being put in detention were brought out in public at a rally specially convened at the Maisara (Cooper's) grounds in the year 1971. To hoodwink the world the usurper government displayed at that rally some guns and small arms alleging that those were the weapons that those citizens had intended to use in overthrowing the government. A flag was also displayed which allegedly was to be the flag of the government that was to be installed after the overthrow.

In addition the usurper government got some stooges among army officers, including some from among the self-styled "progressives" to give faked evidence to condemn these fellow citizens for purely personal and selfish reasons. Those officers declared in public that the accused had plotted with them to overthrow the "people's government'. But those lying officers alleged that they had all the time been reporting everything to their superiors. This was so until when the time was ripe the Security Department was informed and asked to do its work. The Security Department swooped on them arresting them all red handed with the weapons that were then being displayed for all to see. All those present, and all who heard of it, except of course idiots or those demented by hatred, knew that the whole thing was bogus, created by some among the usurpers for their own ulterior motives.

After announcing these allegations Karume ordered the victims of the accusation to stand up, subjecting them to all sorts of insults and ridicule to his heart's content. After that he ordered their imprisonment. Their punishment which he publicly announced was "to herd cattle" at the Hanyegwa Mchana ranch.

After the assassination of Karume on 7th April 1972 and the installation of Aboud Jumbe as President, all those victimized citizens were taken out of their confinement and shot. They were then dumped into a common mass grave. It is not far-fetched that what has recently happened in Ruanda was copied from Zanzibar. To copy evil is not so difficult.

Some of the officers who agreed to utter those brazen lies in public against innocent fellow nationals, now declare regrettably at long last, after what happened to them as a result of Karume's assassination, "All that we then said at the rally was what we were told by our superiors to say. It was all lies." Such were our so-called committed leftists. They were employed to destroy, in an unprecedented blood bath, their own country which had given them birth. Those same "progressives "were the ones who were only too willing to repeat fabricated lies against innocent fellow countrymen, lies which were calculated to cause the death of the helpless victims. It would be no surprise if these same "progressives" are now being used to intensify confusion and discord among the naive under the guise of this new-fangled toy of "multipartism". One must always be on guard against possible mischief of those whose record has always been professional playing the stooge.

*******
This is the only thing I could find in regards to the "Revolution" and the killing of my grandfather during that time. Seeing his name in print only makes my heart ache for the death of an innocent man, who could have lived if not for the lies and blind following of official authorities, whom had their own ulterior motives for the killing.

I place this post in my blog as a reminder and a reference to family members whom come across this part of history.

May his soul rest in peace. Amen

Link source

Seeds of thought

Some people are begging to be ********

2006-01-04T14:01:00.000+04:00

Dear Agony Bloggers,

Childish individuals have been invading my space, time and energy. I have treated them indifferently approach since the start of the situation, hoping that it would eventually end or they would simply lose interest. This approach does not seem to be effective with this sort of a person and they continue to aggravate me. The individual in question throws random remarks or bluntly gossips about me. I am actually considering showing them that I can be agitating or even rude, but then I refuse to stoop to that level of lowliness.

There are times where I feel it's not worth it. I would rather disregard the person causing my frustration, yet it has reached its peek and my tolerance is running very low.

What are your suggestions? Should I continue ignoring this person or should I set them straight and make them realize the person they are dealing with?

Yours Perturbed W.

Seeds of thought

Life can be hilarious

2006-01-03T08:33:00.000+04:00

You find yourself changing with passing time, each moment a phase and each phase a quarter of your life. The old days were good days, just be glad that you had them to cherish and remember and relive. There is no chance of going back, or changing history so the only option you have is saving the memory and learning from it for the future aspects of your life.

In high school you dream of the day you graduate balling your eyes out thinking of the friends you leave behind. You come back after a year of studying abroad only to realize that you have found yourself and the new person within and maybe even start to resent those you used to know. Seeing people in their true light makes you curious to whom they really are.

You move on and build your own friendships and relationships, considering others as the closest to you only to part ways again. There are only a lucky few we have friends since their childhood and some only cousins who they feel they can trust and be with. You come back home and everything seems different. Culture shock strikes and you readjust yourself back home with the promise to yourself that one day you would return to your other life. Time goes by and you settle into the home you have always know as the new you, as the person with a different perceptive to life than those who didn't get the chance to go abroad.

You may turn into a 'western' mentality and associate yourself only with certain people, or you may cling to your family members making them your first and only priority. A balance is too hard to maintain but there are also a lucky few who can deal with both situations and live life to the full, at times obscured by the choice they have made.

In the end you need to learn that life is an on-going learn that needs to be learnt day by day, nothing can be jump started everything happens for a reason and in due time. You can't rush love; you can't rush happiness or sadness. Only the one knows where you would end up and even he has given you the choice to decide before following the path you has laid ahead.

Live life to the full and believe in yourself with everything you do, never regret the past and understand that they were lessons for the future.

Seeds of thought

Past alteration

2006-01-02T08:27:00.000+04:00

Knowing what you know now of yourself, what would you change of your past if you could go back in time and do it all over again?

Seeds of thought

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T13:23:00.000+04:00

Wishing everyone the very best for the coming year filled with happiness and joy

Seeds of thought